Are Your Obligations Sucking the Life Out of You?



"Every day I vow to (insert desire here) get to the pool, take a walk, read for 20 minutes, journal...but it never happens." This is a sample of concerns I often hear from women. The statement like this comes after the dire explanation of how hard things are, the monumental expectations, how she is feeling exhausted and tired, worried she looks "miserable" and is treated as an annoyance.

It always breaks my heart to see others so broken down. This is of course why I love what I do because I get to take them on a journey to the other side, where there is more happiness, energy, and fulfillment.

While I can't sum up a coaching experience in an email, let's take the idea of OBLIGATION and break it down.


What do you feel obligated to do? Go ahead, make a list of your regular activities. You might say something like this, (but we are all different...)

  • work, work, work, work

  • answer my phone 24/7

  • nurture and love my kids, spouse, family members

  • be the point person for everyone's problems

  • cook, clean, grocery shop

  • act as office manager and financial analyst for the home

  • play taxi driver for children and/or aging parents

  • make sure all the animals are taken care of

  • act like life is good all the time and keep it together so no one knows how stressed you are

  • post on social to look as good as possible to all the people you try to impress

Okay, so usually people are surprised when they actually write down all the things they do and are responsible for. Imagine you are hiring someone to complete your duties. Is this list of duties unreasonable and unrealistic? If so, why is it okay to put that much on yourself?


I encourage you to go through each of your obligations and re-assess and re-evaluate them. Sometimes there are tasks that we really need to make a priority at a certain time in our life. For example, when we have young kids we need to take care of EVERYTHING for them. As they a


re getting older, are you shifting responsibility to them? For example, I didn't think about the fact that I was still doing my 19-year-olds laundry until recently. Yes, he is now doing his own laundry, but honestly, the years just blended together. Now, I have an extra hour per week with that off my plate!

Ask yourself why each particular task is important to you. If it is out of guilt, worry what someone might think about you, or something you despise, do a deeper dive into that topic.